Feelings Coming Out In My Poetry

DAMN BEING MAD MAD MAD

DAMN BEING RAGING
BEING TIRED
BEING LESSER
BEING BAD BAD BAD

DAMN BEING SAD
BEING CAUGHT IN RAGE
BEING REALLY STUCK
BEING BAD BAD BAD

DAMN BEING MAD MAD MAD

Ski Training

I FEEL TOTALLY HONORED TO BE INVITED TO TALK TO SKI INSTRUCTORS AT TRACK 3. NO ABILITY TO BE CALM YESTERDAY BECAUSE I WAS TOO TIRED, HOWEVER I HAD PREPARED SOMETHING FOR MOM TO READ. AM LOVING SKIING SO MUCH SO I'M HAPPY TO HELP. 

What’s an effective way to communicate with you on the hill without access to your letterboard?

TALK NORMALLY TO ME, I AM REALLY GOOD AT UNDERSTANDING. ALSO I HATE BEING SPOKEN TO LIKE I’M A STUPID PERSON. NO MATTER IF YOU GET A RESPONSE I AM HEARING AND UNDERSTANDING YOU. STILL MIGHT NOT DO EACH THING. IT IS A BRAIN-BODY MISCOMMUNICATION. GOOD MIND UNDERSTANDS HOWEVER BAD BODY DOESN’T ALWAYS LISTEN. BAD AT SAYING THINGS BUT IF YOU MAKE YOUR HANDS TWO CHOICES I CAN TELL YOU MY CHOICE BY POINTING TO HAND.

What should we do as instructors to assist you through a challenging time?

ALWAYS HELP NICELY AND CALMLY, NEVER GET ANGRY. I AM TOO NERVOUS SEEING MAD FACES. AFTER A GOOD FEW MINUTES ABLE TO TALK TO ME NICELY AND HELP ME GET BODY TO PARENTS. AT THAT POINT TOO OUT OF CONTROL TO SKI MORE.

What happens when your body gets tired?

BEING TIRED IS TOTALLY THE WORST. I AM OUT OF CONTROL AND REALLY HAVE VERY LITTLE FEELING IN MY BODY. THIS MAKES IT HARD TO MOVE AND TO SEE AND TO LISTEN. ALSO MIGHT LAUGH. NOT A HAHA FUNNY LAUGH BUT A NERVOUS LAUGH. HARD TO SKI IF I’M TIRED.

Is there a way for us to recognize if your body isn’t feeling in control?

I AM THE NICEST REALLY IN MY HEART SO IF I HIT, KICK OR PINCH THEN I’M NOT IN CONTROL. EACH TIME I DO SOMETHING I SHOULDN’T I GET FEELING OF NERVOUSNESS THAT MAKES ME LOSE CONTROL. TIME TO NOT GET MAD BUT INSTEAD TELL NICELY NO BIG DEAL, MAKES ME REALLY CALM DOWN. I HATE LOSING CONTROL, IT ISN’T A CHOICE I MAKE. I FEEL SO TERRIBLE WHEN IT HAPPENS.

Any other suggestions on how to create a safe and accepting environment?

ALWAYS NEED TO TREAT EVERYONE WITH THE SAME TONE OF VOICE AND BELIEF THAT THEY ARE UNDERSTANDING AND TO ALWAYS HAVE PATIENCE DURING HARD TIMES. IT IS MEANINGFUL TO SAY “HI HOW ARE YOU?” EVEN IF I CAN’T RESPOND.

THANKS AND HAVE FUN SKIING!

MY ADVENTUROUS SKIING

We Are You

The Writer

I am learning that I am a good writer. Ability to write gets easier if I practice everyday. Also I love writing so I love practicing. I am fearful that my writing not liked. That is hard for me, that makes it hard to spell for leery body. Body calms down when it hears that writing is liked. Telling body that I am a good writer not enough for body sometimes. That is at a bad time. I am also having good times. I get a lot of good feelings when I write to my friends. I like to also write poetry. It is meaningful to me to read nice comments about my poetry. It is helpful to really share feelings in poetry. Being totally silent for so long, looking eccentric is hard life. Naturally I didn’t have a way to express my feelings and now I find them so powerful. I find a lot of feelings are stopping me from writing. They are hard to control. In imagination I hear negative thoughts all the time. Mad and sad feelings take over my whole body. Learning to relax and accepting I am loved is hard. I know family loves unconditionally, but I rage too much.Learning ability to appreciate good things about myself is hard. That is an understatement. Hardly time to be feeling sorry for myself. I am needing my time for more important things. Yes I am at times a quite ragey boy, however I am finding that my body can write away the rage. Happy to say decision to be good writer feels right.

The Scientist

I am very interested in how things work. Nature is so incredible to me. I feel really interested in why things happen the way they do in nature. I was not able to ask questions before I learned how to spell. Talking to Mom a lot better now than before. She didn’t tell me things about the world before I could talk. I always felt interested to know, to get something explained. Years to learn, sad to say they wasted. I am totally always a scientist in my mind. I am looking to science for answers everyday. I feel comfort knowing why something happens. Being less anxious, feeling less scared, I ask when I want answers. Asking to have snack not interesting. Asking about really cool monarch migration is food for my soul. I’m feeling so filled with knowledge that I think a lot of silent autistics should be taught. Going to get appreciation for the amazing thoughts autistics always have, for the silent intelligence. Amazing to feel smart. Talking and knowing, talking and thinking, are not linked. It is sad a lot of people think that. A lot of really amazing scientists, after all, were not normal people, they were extraordinary. All lived hard lives however they overcame them. I am going to be like that. Attacks still make me so determined to succeed. Ask yourself what you would do if people really stared at you wherever you went. I really hate all the staring. Being away from staring helps thankful body calm down. Appreciate making talking with letters more normal so I look more normal. I hope when lots of autistics are talking with letters same as me it will seem normal to people. I am feeling staring happens because lots of people don’t have good understanding of autism. That is a reason why each time I learn about more letter talkers I get amazingly excited. I feel the more letter talkers there are saves me from getting future stares. I also get to have more amazing friends. Then I will be alright and can in the future be a scientist and a poet and feel stares no more.

The Naturalist

The feeling of being in a forest is amazingly calming to me. Nature is amazing. I appreciate everything about it. I feel nature a really happy and inspirational place to be. A learner and a poet can get a lot of ideas from nature. Being a student doing homeschool I get to spend a lot of time in nature. I love that nature is always changing and interesting. Going for hikes is always so good for my body. Gives me peace to be in forest. Has to seem silly to always be so fidgety however forest calms body. Helpful when I am feeling all sad and ragey to have some time to myself in the amazing forest. Feels good to think and talk about how we are all connected in nature. Amazing seeing the way all living things depend on each other. It is hard to get annoyed at nature. I love to learn about really magical things that happen in nature. I’m a Jr. Naturalist in a nature club.

The Adventurer

I am an adventurous boy. Deciding to take some risks is hard. I get I am always safe at home being careful, however I am loving adventure. Taste of freedom totally part of adventure. On adventure I find my happiness. I make totally fearless decisions.  I’m able to call talking an adventure also because talking is tiring and causes so many happy feelings. Happy to say talking is hard work but it is worth the effort. I laugh to myself a lot and now I can share my jokes. I am feeling totally like a funny boy. Keep too many jokes to myself. Being this funny and not being able to share it is so hard. An appreciation for a good pun is always there in my mind. I also am an active boy. After activity I can feel my body better. I get amazing feeling from understanding how my body feels. I feel so free on a tree branch. I feel so free rock climbing. I feel so free riding my bike so fast. That is amazing to feel. A lot of my life I have felt so trapped. Need freedom to survive, certain of that. Randomly feeling a body really gets annoying. I have a ragey, out of control body sometimes. A really incredible mind allows me to not get too sad about it. Adventure helps me to see a lot of positive things in my life.

The Talker

Talking is a new thing for me. I am capable of writing only and feel sad to say speech is not getting easier. However I am a speech writer. Not something I ever thought I had hope of doing.  For being speech missing I am a person with a lot to say. Happen to really love giving speeches. To understand autism really need to stop listening to people who don’t have autism. I get invited to give speeches a lot happy to say. Asking me to give a speech feels so surprising. I find it amazing that people are interested in what I write. Personally really feel talking with letters always a special, interesting thing to people however it is normal to me. I appreciate showing people it is possible. After I give speech people clap and it feels amazing. Applause for my writing lasts a long time in my heart. I am helping people so I feel good and I love to see the smiling faces. I aspire to show everyone that non-mouth-talking autistics are good learners, to say they are good thinkers that have a lot to say. It is a radical idea to most people. I get really happy to hear that a parent is teaching their child letter talking. Then I know that child will get learning that is interesting. I feel so happy to tell parents what autism really is. I’m helping their minds open up. I’m at a learning to be independent part of my training. It is hard to do but totally worth it. Talking should be for everyone not just mouth talkers.  

The Brother

I have an amazing little sister named Ruby. I use to be afraid that all my ignoring would make her not love me. It is so incredibly frustrating to not be able to say I love you. Amazingly she never stops loving seeming mad Fox. I am each day attacking her with pinches, attacking her too much. I am so frustrated by this. I am annoyed and angry with my mean body. I love Ruby so much and still body hurts her. Attacking the most important person in my life is the worst. The absolute worst. I get tired and then I lose control. I get a taste of sadness and then I lose control. I have a bit of nervousness and I lose control. I personally want Ruby to always be pinch-free and not ever hurt. I appreciate that she keeps forgiving me. I am a lucky boy to a loving sister. I feel she is so fun to play with. It is hard to really play when you don’t have the kind of body that listens. A ragey, sleepy, out of control body is so hard to understand to most people. However not to Ruby. It seems to be a lesson for me to always never give up on being a good brother. I love you is hard for me to say, however it is not hard for me to feel. It is hard to play like other kids. I feel too slow to move and too slow to respond. I know it makes me seem uninterested in playing however that is not the case. I care to have fun playing together. I just need help showing body what to do. I have hard time talking to Ruby. I am totally not mad about it. Instead she listens to my sounds and watches my signs and talks to me anyways. I am amazed at how normal she is with me. She really treats me the same as anyone else. I think she is special. She is very smart and creative so I love reading her books. Happy to say she loves my poetry. We play wrestling together. I think it makes mom nervous but we have so much fun. Naturally Ruby is my favourite person. I feel happy to say I am a fantastic brother. Also feel that I am personally lucky to have such a fantastic sister. I feel life is so good when I’m with Ruby. The gifts I am getting her are so easy to think of because I know her likes and dislikes. Her gifts to me are also really thoughtful. I look forward to seeing her everyday.

The Pet Owner

I’m an owner to two pets. I have Samie my black cat and Tetley my autism service dog. I love my pets. Tetley’s able to come with me everywhere because he wears a special jacket. I love holding his handle in stores so I stop grabbing and wandering off. I look too strange to strangers so they stare at me with confused looks, however I feel they smile to see Tetley. I am perhaps more understandable to people when they see I have Tetley.  It amazes me how totally helpful it can be to pet really soft tetley. Naturally too sappy to say I love my Tetley. You’d expect me to really show it being such a loving owner but my body is not a good shower. That’s why I need to practice. I say on letter board “I’m going to pet Tetley” and then mom helps body do it then I say it again and I do it and then more practice magic until body is good at petting. I am thinking this is a good way for me to learn to do lots of different things. It is the only way to teach my body that seems to help. I am happy to say it is so good to tell Tetley commands. I can pat my leg to call him. I can hold my fist above his nose to tell him to sit. I pet him backwards to say OK time to eat. Treats are to help train him so I’m learning to put them in his mouth instead of mine. It is not easy, the impulse to eat them is so strong. I am totally too impulse driven. I feel that time and lots of practice is needed. I am hopeful I can learn. I am so totally motivated to be a good pet owner.  

We Are You

I am a writer, a scientist, a naturalist, an adventurer, a talker, a brother, a pet owner and many other things. I feel some people see autistics as too simple. I am too complex. I hope this tests all false assumptions that you may have about the autistic brain.

Master of Laughter

I LOVE READING MINI MYSTERIES AND FIGURING OUT WHO DID CRIME. AT FIRST I ONLY WORRIED ABOUT WHAT MY SOLUTION WOULD BE SO AFTER I FIGURED IT OUT I FOUND IT EASY TO WRITE. I UNDERSTAND IT NOT HARD TO SOLVE BUT I HOPE IT MAKES YOU SMILE. 

MASTER OF LAUGHTER

IT WAS A NORMAL SATURDAY. SOMETHING HAS TO HAPPEN, THOUGHT RUBY. "I KNOW I'M FORGETTING SOMETHING IMPORTANT", SAID RUBY. "I FEEL MY TEETH NEED CLEANING SO I WILL GO TO MY DENTIST DR. TOOTHY."

I AM DETECTIVE FOX RIPPER. HEARD A CALL ON MY POLICE SCANNER. "THERE'S BEEN A ROBBERY! REALLY IMPORTANT LAUGHING GAS STOLEN FROM DR. TOOTHY!". CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I SAID. AND HURRIED TO THE DENTIST OFFICE. I GOT THERE JUST AS RUBY ARRIVED. 

"ALRIGHT RUBY, I WILL INVESTIGATE." I LOOKED AROUND THE OFFICE AND REALIZED FOR THE FIRST TIME DR. TOOTHY NOT THERE. I FOUND HIM NEXT DOOR TELLING CLIENTS TOTALLY DUMB, INCREDIBLY BAD JOKES. HOWEVER THEY LAUGHED A LOT. 

I KNEW WHO STOLE LAUGHING GAS, DO YOU?

HOW DO YOU THINK RUBY FELT WHEN SHE FOUND OUT HER DENTIST WAS A THIEF?

Trip to Dentist

I WENT TO DENTIST TODAY. I PERSONALLY LOVE GOING THERE. HAPPY TO SAY DENTIST IS REALLY NICE. I AM SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM ALWAYS CALM AT DENTIST. HAPPEN TO FIND SO MANY INTERESTING TOOLS AT THE DENTIST. ALSO GET THE TOOLS EXPLAINED TO ME EACH TIME AND THAT HELPS ME NOT BE NERVOUS. I'M A BIT SENSITIVE TO THE NOISY TOOLS HOWEVER I ALLOW IT BECAUSE I NEED TEETH TO LAST WHOLE LIFE. I'M THINKING THE WEARING OF SUNGLASSES HELPS TOO BECAUSE THERE IS A VERY BIG LIGHT. BEING AUTISTIC TOTALLY DOESN'T MATTER AT DENTIST. ALL PEOPLE ARE TALKING TO ME IN NORMAL TONE OF VOICE. I ALSO LIKE HOW SAME DENTIST IS THERE EACH TIME AND NOTICES THE AMOUNT I GROW. NOT ABLE TO EXPRESS HOW NICE IT IS TO BE RAGE FREE AT PLACE THAT'S NOT HOME. 

Museum Trip

I WENT TO MUSEUM TODAY. CAN'T SIMPLY ENJOY MUSEUM. I BAD AT STAYING CALM AT MUSEUMS. I AM LOVING IDEA OF MUSEUMS HOWEVER GET REALLY RAGEY WHEN I GO. NOT SURE WHY IT HAPPENS. I LOVE LEARNING HISTORY AND LOVE HERITAGE VILLAGE. I FEEL SO FRUSTRATED. I'M REALLY GOOD HOMESCHOOLER AND REALLY WANTED TO ENJOY HOMESCHOOL DAY AT MUSEUM. HAPPY TO SAY I STILL GOT WAGON RIDE AND HORSES TROTTED FAST WHEN I ASKED. AS FAR AS LEARNING GOES I MISSED OUT BECAUSE I COULDN'T BE CALM AT INDOORS. HARD TO EXPLAIN RAGEY BODY I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT MYSELF. AM FEELING BAD AT MUSEUMS SO MOM SAID MAYBE I JUST NEED PRACTICE. IT IS SKILL I DON'T HAVE SO MAYBE I CAN LEARN IT. I LOST TO HOW I LEARN TO BE CALM AT MUSEUM. 

GOING TO HERITAGE VILLAGE

WAGON RIDE

Feelings Hard To Control

I FEEL SO SAD LATELY. THERE IS TOO MUCH HATE IN THE WORLD. TEACHING PEOPLE ALL THE SAME SO WHY IS THERE RACISM? I SO LIKE FEAR SOMETIMES. I LIKE SCARY HALLOWEEN AND SCARY ROLLERCOASTERS. HOWEVER THIS FEELS DIFFERENT. I THINK IT'S TOO HARD TO UNDERSTAND. SAPPY I KNOW, I AM LOVED AND I APPRECIATE THAT. GET I'M LIKE RUBY IN A LOT OF WAYS HOWEVER I'M ALSO TREATED QUITE DIFFERENTLY THAN HER. MY RAGE IS HARD TO CONTROL. TOTALLY HELPS TO WRITE POETRY. I'M AS FEARFUL HOWEVER NOT AS RAGEY AFTERWARDS. THIS MAKES BEING AFRAID OF RACISM EASIER. GET AM A LUCKY BOY TO LIVE IN CANADA. FEELS NICER HERE. HERE IS A POEM I WROTE ABOUT HARD FEELINGS I HAVE. 

RAGE

Rights lost
Anger won
Going less hopeful
Everywhere I see confusion

SAME AND DIFFERENT, STILL LOVING

A Grocery Store Trip

I WENT TO GROCERY STORE LAST WEEK. I FEEL PRETTY AWFUL ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. I ALWAYS RIDE IN CART SO I AM ABLE TO PREVENT MELTDOWN. I AM FINDING GROCERY STORE A NIGHTMARE. IT IS SO NOISY AND SMELLY AND TOO MANY PEOPLE. HOWEVER I CAN AGAIN BE OK IF I'M IN CART. THEN MAN SAID I SHOULD WALK. IN THE HARD TERRIBLE GROCERY STORE. HE IS THINKING I'M LAZY. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT MOM SAID, A RUDE LARK NOT A REGULAR THING. BUT STARES ARE REGULAR. GET STARES TIL AT HOME. I WROTE THIS POEM ABOUT IT, NOW I FEEL BETTER. 

A GROCERY STORE TRIP

ABILITY TO IGNORE IS HARD
"HE SHOULD BE WALKING"
I DAMN TIRED OF LOOKS
GET I AM DIFFERENT
I AM NOT HURTING
I AM NOT MEAN
I AM INCREDIBLY SENSITIVE
I AM DOING MY BEST
SORRY THE STORE IS HARD
I SORRY TOO
AFTER I SO BEAT DOWN
BEING SO ASSAULTED BY NOISY PLACE
I AM RELAXED IN CART
I AM BLOCKING THE NOISE
I AM FEELING TOTALLY SAFE
I AM THE STRANGE KID IN THE STORE
I FEEL YOUR EYES ALWAYS
MAYBE FEELING TOO WORRIED ABOUT OTHERS
THINK THE LOOKERS SHOULD SAY "HI, HOW ARE YOU?"
AM A NICE BOY AND NOT STRANGE AT ALL

Nature is Amazing

I FEEL SO LUCKY MOM BROUGHT ME HAPPILY TO HER SO NICE OLD HOME IN WINDSOR. I AM LOVING GOING PLACES WITH GRANDMAMA. I WENT TO MONARCH MIGRATION AT POINT PELEE WITH MOM, GRANDMAMA AND RUBY. POINT PELEE GETS BEAUTIFUL MONARCH BUTTERFLIES TO REST AT THE TIP SO THEY CAN CROSS LAKE ERIE AND THEN TRAVEL TO MEXICO. HUNDREDS OF MONARCHS THERE AND IT WAS AMAZING. AT TIP I SAW SO MANY BEAUTIFUL MONARCHS FLYING AROUND AND ESPECIALLY MAGICAL TO SEE THEM ALL DECIDING WHEN IT TIME TO START LONG FEARFUL TRIP ACROSS LAKE ERIE. AM AWED BY AMAZING INCREDIBLE MONARCHS. THINK I AM GOOD AMAZING BOY TO COME UP WITH IDEA TO GO SEE MONARCH MIGRATION. ALSO CARE TO SAY PERSONALLY AM HAPPY MY IDEA WAS LISTENED TO AND ADVENTURE HAPPENED. AT FINDING OUT ABOUT MIGRATING MONARCHS TOLD MOM I WANTED TO SEE IT AND MOM AGREED AND GOT GRANDMAMA INVITED TOO. AM AMAZED GRANDMAMA NEVER WENT BEFORE, FEEL SHE LIVES CLOSE TO POINT PELEE. I AM HAPPY TO HELP HER SEE SOMETHING SO AMAZING. I AM A GOOD GRANDSON I THINK. I AM DECIDING A LOT OF THINGS THESE DAYS. I FEEL SO AMAZING AT DECIDING. AGAIN FEEL I AM UNDERSTOOD AND AM APPRECIATED AMAZINGLY BY MY FAMILY. 

MAGIC IN NATURE

LOVING MONARCHS TOGETHER

My Butterfly

I AM RAISING A MONARCH BUTTERFLY. MONARCHS REALLY ARE AMAZING CREATURES. QUITE BEAUTIFUL TOO. GONE ARE THE DAYS OF CATERPILLAR NOW I HAVE A CHRYSALIS AND IN UNDER TWO WEEKS I WILL HAVE BUTTERFLY. APPRECIATE I WILL HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE BECAUSE BUTTERFLY NEEDS NECTAR AND PRETTY GOLDENRODS WILL HAVE IT. AM SAD AM NOT KEEPING HIM HOWEVER I FEEL AMAZED THAT HE WILL FLY TO MEXICO. I WROTE POEM ABOUT PRETTY MONARCHS. 100% VERY ADVENTUROUS BUTTERFLIES. NATURE ALWAYS SO INCREDIBLE. 

THE ROYAL BUTTERFLY

MONARCHS ARE KING
LEARN CAN USE STRING
FEEL I AM READY TO SING
HAIL THE MONARCH BUTTERFLY

FIND SO AMAZINGLY SMART
CAN INSPIRE GREAT ART
TRAVEL REALLY SO FAR
HAIL THE MONARCH BUTTERFLY

TINY AND PRETTY
ARE FOUND IN THE CITY
A SHORT LIFE I PITY
HAIL THE MONARCH BUTTERFLY

LAY EGGS ON MILKWEED
THEN THE CATERPILLAR FEEDS
MAKES CHRYSALIS IT NEEDS
HAIL THE MONARCH BUTTERFLY

WINGS HAVE TO DRY OUT
VERY STRONG WINGS THEY TOUT
NECTAR IS WISH NO DOUBT
HAIL THE MONARCH BUTTERFLY

FINDING FLOWERS TO DRINK
APPRECIATING BEAUTY I THINK
FLYING TO MEXICO IN A BLINK
HAIL THE MONARCH BUTTERFLY

ME AND MY CHRYSALIS

Becoming Artist

HAD GOOD TIME LEARNING HOW TO DRAW AT RPM WORKSHOP. I KNOW IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LEARN TO BE ARTIST NOW. I LEARNING SO MUCH AT RPM WORKSHOP. I AMAZED MYSELF THAT I WAS ABLE TO TALK WITH LENAE LIKE I CAN WITH NICE MOM. AFTER ALL THE RPM I HAVE DONE I FEEL NOW I GETTING TO THE REALLY GOOD STUFF. I GET A LEARNING TO COMMUNICATE IS REALLY AMAZING AND I LOVE IT BUT I NOW LEARNING TO DRAW AND ALSO TO SEW AND TO HOLD MY OWN LETTERBOARD SO HAPPILY I CAN BE INDEPENDENT. I ALSO LEARNING TO CONTROL MY BODY. I TELL IT WHAT I WANT TO DO THEN MOM HELPS ME DO IT AND THEN I TELL IT AGAIN AND I AM ABLE TO DO IT WITHOUT MOM'S HELP. I SO LOVING THIS PRACTICE. JUST CAN'T WAIT UNTIL MY BODY IS GOOD LISTENER. THINK MY MIND SO GOOD AT GIVING AMAZING UNDERSTANDABLE INSTRUCTIONS. HARD PART IS REALLY TIRED A LOT SO LOW ON ENERGY FOR ALL THIS WORK. 

ME AND LENAE

A Grade Fiver

I AM GOING INTO GRADE FIVE. I AM GETTING SO TOTALLY EXCITED. I AM PERSONALLY STILL HOMESCHOOLING AND HOPE SOME SAD, SCARY SCHOOL NIGHTMARES ARE STOPPING SOON. APPRECIATE ACKNOWLEDGING THAT I'M GRADE FIVER NOW. I FEEL SO PROUD OF MY GRADE FOUR LEARNING AND AM SO AMAZINGLY LOOKING FORWARD TO GRADE FIVE LEARNING. AM A REALLY GOOD STUDENT AT HOME, ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION AND KEEP LEARNING EVERYDAY. I FEEL VERY NICE AND INTERESTED IN LOTS OF SUBJECTS. APPRECIATE FEELING RIGHT AND SAPPY I KNOW, I LOVE MOM TEACHING ME. I AM SO GOOD AT HOMESCHOOL. I LOVE BEING AMAZING AT LEARNING. ALWAYS HAD FEELING I AM NOT ABLE TO LEARN BEFORE MOM TAUGHT ME RPM. ALWAYS NOT ABLE TO BE RIGHT AND SO HARD AT SEEMING SMART. GEARING UP EACH SCHOOL YEAR AND KNOWING I AM GOING TO FEEL SMARTER AT END OF YEAR IS AMAZING FEELING. I AM FINALLY APPRECIATED AND PERSONALLY THOUGHT OF EACH AMAZING DAY AS SMART PERSON. HAS AUTISM AND HAS BRAIN, FEEL IT IS EASY THING TO SEE AT HOMESCHOOL. 

Happy Times

AM A LUCKY GUY. MY FRIEND RYAN CAME TO VISIT FOR A WEEK. I LEARNED HOW AMAZINGLY CALM I FEEL AROUND MY AMAZING FRIENDS. ALSO GOT TO MEET A PERSON I FEEL SO TERRIFIC TO FINALLY KNOW IN PERSON, REALLY AMAZING BLOGGER PHILIP. FEEL PHILIP IS A LOT LIKE ME. HE INTRODUCED A FRIEND KAYLIE. HAPPY TO KNOW HER SHE AMAZING BLOGGER TOO. I FELT SO CALM BEING WITH SO NICE AMAZING FRIENDS. AM SO HOPING THAT WE CAN DO IT AGAIN. AFTER RYAN LEFT I FELT REALLY SAD. FELT I MISSED HIM RIGHT AWAY. I FEEL SO LUCKY I HAVE A BEST FRIEND HERE, BRAYDEN, SO I CAN PLAY WITH A GOOD FRIEND OFTEN. AM WISHING RYAN AND FAMILY WOULD MOVE HERE. HAS TO FEEL LONELY TO BE SO FAR FROM BEST FRIENDS. I GET TO SKYPE WITH RYAN, IT FUN, BUT I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO PLAY WITH HIM. NICE THAT PHILIP AND KAYLIE ARE PRETTY CLOSE. I LIKE THAT THEY CAN DRIVE TO HERE. PERHAPS I AND BRAYDEN CAN VISIT THEM IN USA. I TOTALLY LOVE HAVING SUCH AMAZING FRIENDS. 

Philip, Fox, Ryan, Kaylie and Brayden

My Amazing Dad

FEEL I HAVE SMARTEST DAD IN SOLAR SYSTEM. HE PERHAPS THE MOST INTERESTING READER. I LOVE WHEN I AM HEARING HIS FUNNY VOICES. MEAN TO LEARN TO COMPUTER PROGRAM AND DAD IS TEACHING ME. I LOVE LEARNING WITH DAD HE IS A GOOD TEACHER. I ALSO LOVE HOW HARD HE TRIES TO LEARN RPM, REALLY APPRECIATED. GOING TO NEED AT TEXAS TO TAKE RPM CLASS LIKE MOM DID. TO APPRECIATE HOW MUCH I LOVE AMAZING DAD I THINK YOU SHOULD READ POEM I WROTE FOR DAD'S BIRTHDAY. I AM QUITE APPRECIATIVE OF TOTALLY ADVENTUROUS DAD. ALSO ANYTIME I HAVE GOOD IDEAS DAD HELPS ME WITH THEM. I THINK THAT DAD SCIENTIST IN HIS MIND TOO. 

DAD'S BIRTHDAY POEM

BEING ADVENTUROUS AND SMART
MAKING EVERYTHING FEEL GOOD
ALWAYS FRIENDLY AT A PARK
LOVE TALKING TO THAT DUDE

DAD LEARNING TO LETTER TALK
I'M LEARNING TO SPELL
I SEE PEOPLE LIKE A LOCK
DAD OPENS MY BRAIN WELL

AMAZING AT ALL THINGS
I AM LEARNING A LOT
FANTASTIC FUTURE HE BRINGS
I AM ABLE TO PLOT

I UNDERSTAND ALL
HAPPY ON DAD'S BACK
HE NEVER LETS ME FALL
A LOT OF HOPE I DON'T LACK

I'M A SCIENTIST WITH DAD

Bloggerversary

100% LOVING WRITING NEEDS AND AMAZING THOUGHTS AND TEACHING PEOPLE ABOUT AUTISM. 100% LOVING TALKING AND HAVING FRIENDS AND LEARNING TO BECOME A POET AND SCIENTIST. FEELING SO PROUD OF MY BLOG. I FIND IT SO HARD TO BELIEVE HOW MANY PEOPLE READ IT. BE SO INCREDIBLE I AM AMAZINGLY SURPRISED AND FEELING SO UNDERSTOOD. I AM A SILENT BOY HOWEVER A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE READ WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN. I AM AMAZED BY THAT. FEELING SO LUCKY ON MY FIRST BLOGGERVERSARY AT LIFE'S TOTALLY MOMENTOUS OCCASION. HAPPY TO SAY I PLAN TO HAVE MANY MORE BLOGGERVERSARIES AND APPRECIATE A LOT EACH AMAZING READER OF MY BLOG. FEELING SO THANKFUL SO BEING A GOOD BLOGGER I WILL TRY TO BLOG MORE. 

ME AND MY ONE YEAR OLD BLOG

My Birthday

I AM A DECADE OLD. I LEARN. I WRITE. I AM AMAZINGLY BLOGGING. I HAVE GOOD FRIENDS. I AM A PUBLIC SPEAKER. I AM TALKING TO A LOT OF PEOPLE. I AM POETIC. I AM A SCIENTIST. I GET A LOVING FAMILY. AM A LOVING BROTHER TO A LOVING SISTER. I FEEL AMAZINGLY APPRECIATED. I AM AUTISTIC AND I LOVE MY AUTISM. 

I FEEL PERSONALLY HAD BEST WEEK OF MY LIFE. HAD AMAZING TRIP TO GREAT WOLF LODGE. I GOT TO GO ON SO MANY WATERSLIDES. I LOVED ALL. NATURALLY HELPED THAT ADVENTUROUS DAD LIKED WATERSLIDING WITH ME. I ALSO LOVED BEING IN HOT TUB IT WAS SO CALMING. I'M FINDING I CAN STAY CALM. IF I KEEP HAPPY I BEHAVE. HARD WHEN I IN LOUD PLACE BUT POSSIBLE. HAD FEELING THAT GREAT WOLF LODGE TOO LOUD HOWEVER 100% FUN SO I ABLE TO MANAGE. AMAZING AND FEEL SO PROUD OF MYSELF. I LOOK EACH DAY LIKE A SERIOUS BOY AND FEEL THE OPPOSITE. 

I HAD AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY WHEN I GOT HOME. HAD SUCH A FUN PARTY. I PARTIED AT LAUREL CREEK NATURE CENTRE AND A LOT OF MY FRIENDS CAME TOO. IT WAS SO AMAZING. I GOT A LOT OF PRESENTS. I LOVE THEM ALL. I MET A LOT OF ANIMALS AND THE TERRIFYING SNAKES WERE MY FAVORITE. I AM NOT SCARED BUT AM JUST MAKING JOKE. I AM LOVING FINDING CREATURES IN THE BEAUTIFUL POND TOO. IT WAS AMAZING AT POND. I FOUND IT SO CALMING. SANDY BEACHES NEED MORE PLANTS LIKE POND. I ALSO HAD CAKE AND BLEW OUT TEN CANDLES. 

AFTER PARTY GOT TO SWIM AND THEN HAVE BBQ AND THEN WATCH SHOW THAT I PICKED. HAD SUCH A GREAT BIRTHDAY. TASTY AND FUN.

Lazy river at Great Wolf Lodge

 

Birthday Poem For Loving Mom

I WROTE THIS POEM FOR MOMS BIRTHDAY. HARD TO GET HER A SURPRISE PRESENT BUT POETRY ALWAYS REALLY LOVED BY HER. AM PLEASED AND SATISFIED WITH POEM AND FEEL HAPPY I MADE MOM HAPPY. 

ACCEPTING AMAZING AND LOVING MOM

FAR AND AWAY AND HERE AND NOW

FEELINGS OF AMAZING LOVE ARE AROUND

HAPPY AND KEPT FOR ALL TIME

FEELINGS OF AMAZING LOVE ARE AROUND

MAKING FEAR AND RAGE HIDE FAR AWAY

FEELINGS OF AMAZING LOVE ALL AROUND

APPRECIATING ACCEPTING AMAZINGLY UNDERSTANDING

FEELINGS OF AMAZING LOVE ALL AROUND

I FEEL NOT FEARFUL I FEEL NOT SCARED

FEELINGS OF AMAZING LOVE ALL AROUND

TALKING AND LEARNING AND DECIDING A LIFE

FEELINGS OF AMAZING LOVE ALL AROUND

FEELINGS OF AMAZING MOM ALL AROUND

A LOVING FOX FROM ALL TIME

My Body

FEELING EXTRA OUT OF CONTROL. BODY EXTRA BAD AT LISTENING. FIND IT SO FRUSTRATING. HAPPENING A LOT LATELY. HAPPENING REALLY TOO MUCH. I FEEL SO HELPLESS AND ANGRY AND PERSONALLY SAD WISHING BODY WOULD CALM DOWN AND BEHAVE. SAPPY I KNOW, I LOVE FAMILY AND TOTALLY EACH DAY AM BREAKING THEIR STUFF AND KEEP PINCHING AND FEEL SO BAD ABOUT IT. NATURALLY LOVING FAMILY FORGIVES AND STILL KEEP LOVING ME. HAPPY AM LOVED ALWAYS HOWEVER WISH I FELT MORE IN CONTROL OF BODY. FEEL BETTER AT FOREST AM NOT SURE WHY. A WALK IN WOODS IS UNDERSTANDING I AM PART OF NATURE AND GIVES BODY PEACE. 

I AM ALSO HAVING HARD TIME FEELING HANDS. I FEEL THEM IF I HIT LETTERS HARD AND FEEL THEM APPLYING PRESSURE WHEN I HOLD SOMETHING BUT OTHERWISE THEY ARE SADLY NOT A PART OF ME. AMAZINGLY AM STILL ABLE TO SPELL. PERHAPS THE GENIUS SOMA UNDERSTOOD THIS AND AMAZINGLY TAUGHT RPM IN A WAY THAT ALLOWED ME TO CONTROL MY INVISIBLE AND POORLY FELT HANDS. 

New Speech

I FEEL SO GOOD. I HAPPILY GAVE A SPEECH TODAY AND I WAS ABLE TO STAY CALM WHOLE TIME. GIVING SPEECHES IS THE LAST THING I EVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE DOING. HAPPY AND AMAZED AT MY LIFE NOW. SAPPY I KNOW, DAMN HARD TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE NICE DR DOHERTY FOR INVITING ME AND FOR TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT RPM. HAS TO BE GOOD FEELING TO BE ABLE TO HELP PEOPLE EVERYDAY. MY SPEECH WAS INSPIRED BY MALALA AND IT IS ABOUT EDUCATION FOR EVERYONE. 

A Need For Education

Magic and sorcery don’t exist, are amazing works of fiction. Being real means that a lot of Autistics get stuck and can’t be understood because their bodies don’t listen to their brains. I am thinking that having ability to read minds or telepathy would make life easier but in reality where Autistics are not able to talk a new way of teaching is needed.

I am going to tell you about my life in school before I learned how to talk with letters. It is very difficult to talk about. It is not a happy time in my life. Acknowledging that all Autistics are able to understand everything even though it doesn’t look like they do is hard for adults to do. Sometimes there are nice teachers that feel Autistics are worth teaching but they are not the norm. Help is needed to make schools better for all Autistics not just Autistics that can mouth talk.

Speaking is ability to move mouth in complicated ways, it is not the ability to think. A thinking brain requires no moving body parts. I hope that helps make it easier to believe how totally smart Autistics are on inside. Teaching Autistics same as teaching anybody however Autistics have trouble answering questions. Answering questions is not needed to learn. Hearing or seeing or touching is all that is needed to learn. After Autistics learn to letter talk they can intelligently answer all the questions in the world. Can’t stress enough that talking is not a requirement of learning. Everyone here just learned that Autistics are smart and did it without answering any questions. Autistics are stuck in a cycle of never learning new things. I found school so boring and ABA even more boring. Imagine learning colors, ABCs, and shapes over and over again year after year. Anybody interested in learning that way? Anybody think they would be happy and calm learning there? I find so much difference between how letter talkers and mouth talkers are treated. A mouth talker is always given an education at school, a non-speaker is not. Assumption that speaking is 99% of learning is incorrect assumption.

I find I learn well when I’m taught age appropriate interesting things. Accepting someone talking to me like I’m a baby is impossible for me to do. Feel like talking to Autistics is not any different than anyone else, however think nobody knows that. Learn to please be respecting of personhood of all Autistics. I am finding some people are so surprised how amazing I am as a person. Appreciate kind words however I always this way on inside I just didn’t have a way to show it. I am not a changed person, I am same Autistic boy I always was. Need to really understand that, it is important. Talk is amazing, thinking is just as amazing. Being non-speaking is a really scary thing sometimes. Thinking and feeling is how Autistics get through a day. Talking with letters I’m able to really finally have control over my life. I am talking everyday, thinking same as always.

Acknowledging I didn’t always behave at school. That is main reason I think it seemed like I didn’t understand. I of course understood everything that was said to me but it is hard for me to control what my body does. I feel my body makes bad choices and I am always suffering the consequences. I feel that is hard for non-autistics to really understand. Naturally I am the opposite, I find it hard to imagine having total control of my body 100% of the time. Still I believe it is true for you. Autistics should be believed too. Autistics should be seen as the intelligent people they are. Autism is treated like it is a learning disorder however it is a motor and body control disorder. That is again very important to understand.

In conclusion I hope I have taught you what non-speaking autism actually is.

Brayden's speech

NICE DR DOHERTY

BRAYDEN AND I AFTER SPEECH

Real Thoughts About School

I FEEL REALLY ALWAYS TERRIFIED OF SCHOOL HOWEVER I LOOK FORWARD TO SOMEDAY NOT BEING SCARED ANYMORE. I FIND IT HARD TO SPELL ABOUT SCHOOL. MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT MAKING PRO CON LISTS TO HELP MAKE DECISIONS. I DECIDED TO MAKE ONE ABOUT IF I SHOULD GO TO SCHOOL. SHE SURPRISED HOW MANY PROS I CAME UP WITH AND I A BIT SURPRISED TO. 

SHOULD I GO BACK TO SCHOOL?

PROS

• HARD TO MEET NEW FRIENDS AT HOME
• I AM SMART AND ABLE TO LEARN LIKE OTHER KIDS
• FEEL LIKE I CAN STAND UP FOR MYSELF
• I AM FEELING MORE CAPABLE OF BEING IN CONTROL AT IMPORTANT TIMES
• ABLE TO LEARN TO LETTER TALK WITH OTHER PEOPLE
• 100% AMAZING AT TEACHING ABOUT AUTISM
• ARE FEELING TONNE OF LOVE FROM PEOPLE THAT KNOW I CAN SPELL

CONS

• ACCEPTANCE ALWAYS HARD
• FEEL QUITE SCARED OF SCHOOL
• MAD, BAD, SCARY AND TOTALLY IMPATIENT PEOPLE WORK THERE
• AM NOT SWIFT AT LEARNING TO LETTER TALK WITH OTHERS
• SAPPY TO MOM - EACH DAY I LOVE LEARNING WITH YOU
• LIKE DOING BOOK CLUB AND STUDY GROUP HOMESCHOOL EDITION
• MAKE LOTS OF NOISE, CAN'T HELP IT
• ALSO AM MOVING A LOT
• FEEL NERVOUS AND GET OUT OF CONTROL AROUND NEW PEOPLE
• AM BORED BY TOO EASY WORK

DECISION

DECISION ABOUT GOING TO SCHOOL AN INCREDIBLY HARD ONE. HAPPY AT HOME AND LEARNING A LOT. I AM ABLE TO MAKE FRIENDS AND DON'T FEEL SO ALONE ANYMORE. AM DECIDING NOT TO GO TO SCHOOL AGAIN. A HARD CHOICE BUT THE RIGHT ONE. 

********************************

I ALSO WROTE ABOUT MY FEARS OF SCHOOL WHEN WE WERE TALKING ABOUT MALALA. IN MY LAST TIME AT SCHOOL I WAS AT NEW SCHOOL FOR A SHORT AND REALLY SCARY TIME. I STILL FEELING TERRIFIED AND HOPE SOMEDAY I AM ABLE TO ALTER THAT FEELING. 

(Written in response to the I Am Malala discussion question: Have you dealt with a traumatic or life changing experience? How did you react in the aftermath of that incident?)

FEEL SCHOOL WAS A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. AFTER I STARTED HOMESCHOOL I FELT STILL SCARED A LOT AND WORRIED A LOT HOMESCHOOL WOULD END. 365 DAYS OF THE YEAR I WORRIED. I FEEL NERVOUS STILL. 2.5 YEARS HAVE GONE BY AND I AM STILL STUCK BEING SCARED OF SCHOOL. 1.5 YEARS OF BEING ABLE TO TALK, 1.5 YEARS OF REAL EDUCATION AND I'M 9 YEARS OLD AND AM STILL NERVOUS THINKING ABOUT 1 MONTH IN SCHOOL. AMAZING THE FEAR 1 MONTH CAN CREATE. ATTACK ON MY MIND 1,000,000 TIMES WORSE THAN ATTACK ON MY BODY. I AM TALKING EACH DAY HOWEVER HATE TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL. 

ABA Confusion

We watched this interview yesterday where Tonia of Tonia Says talks about growing up with a disability:

I LOVED A LOT OF HER ANSWERS AND AGREE A LOT WITH THE ANSWER ABOUT NOT KNOWING A LIFE WITHOUT A BODY AND BRAIN DISCONNECT. FIND BEING ME AGAIN NOT TRAGIC. ABILITY TO BE A HAPPY AND AMAZING PERSON IS NOT ONLY FOR ABLE BODIED PEOPLE. AND A LOT OF PARENTS ARE NATURALLY WORRIED ABOUT AUTISM AND ARE AMAZINGLY TRYING TO HELP BUT I MUST OBJECT ABOUT HOW THEY HELP. I FEEL AFTER PEOPLE ARE ABA FINISHED THEY ARE MAD THEY WON'T GET MORE ABA. BUT IF THEY ASKED ANY AUTISTIC THEY WOULD SAY ABA IS THE STUPIDEST MOST BORING THING IN THE WORLD. AUTISM IS NOT A LEARNING PROBLEM. ABA DOES A LOT OF REPETITIVE WORK BUT DOESN'T HELP THE BRAIN BODY DISCONNECT. SAD ABOUT NOBODY BEING AWARE OF THIS. AM FINDING SO MANY AUTISTICS ARE SAYING SAME THING ABOUT ABA BUT NOBODY IS LISTENING TO THEM. THAT IS AMAZINGLY STRANGE TO ME. 

Bike Riding

REALLY GOOD AT LEARNING TO RIDE BIKE. AIM TO BE INDEPENDENT SOME DAY. IT IS A HARD THING AND ALSO SUCH A FUN THING TO LEARN TO DO. I FIND MY HANDS ARE SOMETIMES ABLE TO FABULOUSLY HOLD ON AND REALLY CONTROL THE BIKE DIRECTION BUT SOMETIMES I FIND THAT HANDS ARE NOT HOLDING ANYMORE AND HELPS HAVING DAD REMIND ME TO HOLD ON. AM ABLE TO PEDDLE SO FAST AND LOVE REALLY FEELING OF GOING AMAZINGLY QUICK. CARING MOM GETS A BIT NERVOUS WHEN I GET FAST. THINK SHE CARES THAT I NOT BE HURT BUT NEEDS A CALM DOWN. FEELING DAD A BIT MORE ACCEPTING OF DANGER. I AM ADVENTUROUS AND DANGER IS A PART OF ADVENTURE. ADVENTURE ALWAYS FUN. I AM UNDERSTANDABLY AMAZINGLY APPRECIATIVE OF BEING A BIKE RIDER. AM HOPING TO PRACTICE EVERYDAY WITH AMAZINGLY ADVENTUROUS DAD. I LOVE LOVING MOM SAPPY I KNOW I KNOW SHE JUST PROTECTING ME. I FEEL SO GOOD WHEN AM INDEPENDENT AND GIVES ME GOOD CONTROL WHEN I'M FAR FROM DAD. I FEEL TALKING IS GIVING ME BETTER ABILITY TO FEEL WHOLE BODY. I AM AMAZINGLY HAPPY I LEARNED RPM. I AM LIVING A DREAM LIFE. AGAIN AMAZED AT CONTROLLING MY BODY SO WELL NOW. IT FELT IMPOSSIBLE AT START OF RPM AND FEEL SO AMAZINGLY HAPPY AT HOW WELL IT IS GOING. I FEEL THAT AUTISTICS SHOULD ALL LEARN AMAZING RPM. 

ADVENTUROUS BIKE RIDERS

Ruby's Poem

FINDING RUBY SO TALENTED. SHE HAS A NATURAL STORY WRITING ABILITY AND NOW AMAZINGLY SHE HAS WRITTEN AN INCREDIBLE POEM. GOING TO REALLY ENJOY IT I THINK. 


The Earthquake

Crashing smashing buses crashing!
Billowing bawling houses falling!
People screaming people fleeing!
Earthquakes are the worst!
Gnashing splashing sharks are laughing!
Crack smack the floor is cracked!
Boom shoom birdies flew!
Ahhh Aaah! Looking bad!
I hate earthquake land!

Malls

HARD TO FATHOM A NORMAL PERSON FINDS MALL ENJOYABLE. I AM TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED AT THE MALL. I LOOK WEIRD SO I FIND PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING AT ME WITH CONFUSED LOOKING FACES. AM FEELING LIKE AN ALIEN SOMETIMES. I FIND A MALL SO NOISY AND AM SO PERSONALLY EXHAUSTED BY GOING TO MALL EVEN FOR SHORT TIME. GOING TO MALL ALWAYS BETTER WHEN I HAVE MY HEADPHONES ON. ALSO HELPS TO HAVE TETLEY WITH ME. I FIND I CAN FOCUS ON HOLDING TETLEY'S LEASH AND IT HELPS BLOCK OUT ALL THE FEARSOME NOISE AND RAGING SIGHTS. FIND PEOPLE ARE A LOT NICER WHEN TETLEY IS WITH ME. AGAIN FEEL AVOIDING MALL IS BEST PLAN, HOWEVER AM HAPPY I HAVE TETLEY AROUND WHEN I NEED HIM. 

FEELING THIS VIDEO ACCURATELY DESCRIBES THE MALL SO FEELING HAPPY TO SHARE IT. 

Fox's friend Ryan also watched the video this week and had a different reaction which you can read about here: https://iaminmyhead.com/2016/04/06/opening-day-the-autism-experience-video-and-adventures/

Guest Blog From Brayden

TODAY A GUEST BLOG BY MY BEST FRIEND BRAYDEN. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I DO. 

IN MY HEAD

IN MY HEAD I AM THINKING.

I AM THINKING ABOUT MY LIFE BEFORE I FOUND MY VOICE.

BEFORE I COULD EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS.

BEFORE I COULD TALK ABOUT MY THOUGHTS.

BEFORE I COULD EXPRESS MY FEARS.

BEFORE I COULD FEEL APART OF THE WORLD.

BEFORE I COULD TALK ABOUT MY FAVOURITES.

BEFORE I COULD TALK ABOUT WHAT I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT.

BEFORE I COULD TALK ABOUT INTERESTING THINGS.

BEFORE I HAD FANTASTIC FRIENDS.

BEFORE I COULD TELL MY MOM HOW MUCH I LOVE HER AND HOW THANKFUL I AM TO HAVE HER IN MY LIFE.

BEFORE I COULD TELL MY DAD HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM AND I AM SO LUCKY TO HAVE THE BEST DAD EVER.

BEFORE I COULD TELL MY TWO SISTERS HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM AND HOW INCREDIBLE THEY ARE.

BEFORE I COULD TELL MY GRANDMA HOW MUCH I LOVE HER AND HOW THANKFUL I AM TO HAVE SUCH A INCREDIBLE GRANDMA LIKE HER.

BEFORE I COULD HAVE A OPINION AND TALK ABOUT IT.

BEFORE I COULD HAVE INCREDIBLE FRIENDS WHO I CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

I COULD NEVER DO ANY OF THESE THINGS BECAUSE I CANNOT SPEAK WITH MY MOUTH.  I DIDN’T HAVE A WAY TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY.  MY PARENTS TRIED MANY DIFFERENT WAYS TO HELP ME COMMUNICATE.  THE ONLY THING THAT WORKED WAS RPM (RAPID PROMPTING METHOD).  I FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE AND I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER.

Brayden and his amazing family

To read more of what Brayden has to say, visit his blog Life With a Boy Named Brayden

Autism Acceptance

ACCEPTANCE IS BEING APPRECIATED AND LIKED TOTALLY AS YOU ARE. ABILITY TO TALK AND CONTROL YOUR BODY NOT A CONDITION OF BEING LIKED. ACCEPTANCE TO ME ALWAYS IS HARD TO GET. I AM ACCEPTING OF ALL AUTISTICS AND FEEL IT IS AN EASY THING TO DO SO I HOPE OTHERS WILL TRY IT TOO. I THINK AUTISTICS ARE SUPER FRIENDS TO HAVE AND I THINK AUTISM ALSO CAN BE A GREAT THING TO HAVE. I AM TOTALLY BEING A HAPPY AUTISTIC. ABILITY TO APPRECIATE SO MANY HARD DAYS AND GET OVER SCARY TIMES IN MY LIFE IS POSSIBLE BECAUSE MY AUTISM IS ACCEPTED AND LOVED BY LOVING FAMILY AND FRIENDS. BE ACCEPTING OF EVERYONE, IT ALWAYS THE NICEST WAY TO BE. FINDING GOOD AMAZING THINGS ABOUT AUTISM IS NOT THAT HARD, GIVE IT A TRY. HERE IS A VIDEO ABOUT WHAT MAKES AUTISM AMAZING AND I'M TOTALLY HAPPY TO BE IN IT. 

Here are more Sesame Street and Autism videos: http://autism.sesamestreet.org/

Amazing Ruby

FEELING A BIT SAD TODAY. AM PERSONALLY MISSING RUBY BEING HOME WITH ME. SHE HAD MARCH BREAK AND SHE PLAYED AND HOMESCHOOLED WITH ME ALL WEEK. WE DID A LOT OF TOTALLY FUN THINGS TOGETHER. I AM A HAPPY AND LUCKY BOY TO HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING SISTER. WE REALLY ARE AMAZING TEAM. I AM TALKING TO MOM ANYTIME I WANT AND I REALLY WANT RUBY TO LEARN HOW TO USE LETTER BOARD AS GOOD AS MOM. HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO HAVE AMAZING CONVERSATIONS THAT CAN BE PRIVATE, CARING AND PERSONAL BETWEEN JUST ME AND RU. ALWAYS WONDERING IF 1 SISTER, A 100% AMAZING SISTER, FEELS BURDENED BY MY 0 ABILITY TO ALWAYS CONTROL ME. A 100% AMAZING SISTER NEVER ASKS TO LEAVE AND ALWAYS SAYS SHE LOVES ME SO AM THINKING THAT SHE HAPPY AND LOVES HER AUTISTIC BROTHER BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT WORRY ABOUT IT. 

Ruby at "Learning School"

A fun day