Happy Town

One fine day (the year and place really doesn't matter), the mayor of the city had a problem. 

Story of my entire life, thought Mayor Fox. It is hard to mayor, especially today. I always give to the people, I give and give and give. However happy it makes them it is never enough. I quit Happy Town! Happy not my job anymore. I get fed up. I live to serve myself now. It is really time to get new job. A job search is tough but it is only tougher to mayor. I am tired all the time from all the complaining. It is totally enough. That is the dream anyway. I still mayor for three more years. Three more long years. 

It is helping time. It is time to go through the complaint list. First on the list is the theft of the good stone statue from the museum. To stop the thief, to stop the complaining, I should talk to the talkative Chief of Police, Chief Tarsty.

It is hard to find Tarsty. It is too early in the morning. I am very far away so I will need my driver, his name is Albert. Taking the bus is not for me. If I am not mayor I am the same as regular folk and will need to learn how to take the bus, however that is not a problem for three more long years.

"Albert, Happy People need us!" I yelled.

"That's too bad!" yelled Albert. 

"Time to go, you get down here." I sternly said. 

"Yes sir." mocked Albert. 

I appreciate less attitude in my drivers, however it is really hard to find good drivers in Happy Town so I got Albert from Angry Town. It's not ideal being mayor. 

The trip to the Tarsty home took a long time, time I'll never get back. I think each time I am doing the mayor's job is time I'll never get back. It is bad to be the mayor everyday. 

I believe Tarsty is a terrible policeman. Tarsty was feeling talkative this morning. Too talkative. So I'm not going to bore you with long dialogue. Amazingly he had, in between all very useless chit-chat, a lead in the case. 

Tarsty is not really good at solving cases. I am incredibly good at it. So I am, sorry to say, going to have to help. The most helpful thing about Tarsty is he saw Ralph, the son of Sam the museum curator trying to hide the good stone statue. That is the simplest kind of case. It is a good start to solving it. It feels too easy though, so I'm going to go talk to the suspect. 

"Albert, time to get going!"

I get the feeling that he's left already. Typical Albert. Luckily Chief Tarsty could give me a ride to the police station. As feelings pour out of Tarsty's mouth, I think about some ways to punish Albert. On the drive it was not possible to think a lot about Ralph, the son of the curator, I found his talking too distracting. 

Time at Happy Police Station is going to be arresting. Happy criminals, happy officers wearing happy uniforms, it makes a mayor want to vomit. I believe the arrest of the curator's son is an important lead. I sat across from Ralph in the interrogation room and glared at him. His dad, Sam, happily smiled back. 

"Alright Ralph, I'm sorry to see you here. It is disappointing to find out you stole the statue. " I sadly said. I looked concerned but it was not real concern. I looked like the attentive mayor the Happy citizens think I am. 

"I didn't steal the statue!" yelped Ralph. Ralph totally cracked under my glaring eyes. 

"Nice try, Ralph. Don't believe that for a second. " I rudely told him. 

"Talk to my dad, it is my job to move statues at the museum." whimpered Ralph. 

"That is a likely story.  No sir, a lie through and through. How stupid do you think I am?" I confidently said. The look on his dad's face told me that Ralph might not be lying. 

"Sorry I am going to have to stop being quiet. Happy to respectfully tell you Ralph is right and he didn't steal the statue. Ralph is too incredibly happy to work there so naturally would never steal anything. Ralph is really too happy in Happy Town. You are too good at this to suspect my son. Please happily continue your interrogation." Sam politely explained. 

I have a feeling that what they are saying is true. Naturally that is annoying. Simply only one thing to do, I will have to go to the museum and look for clues. Yelling for Albert gets me nowhere. So typical. Tarsty just happened to be going to the museum too so I felt the onslaught of conversation once more. Sometimes simple cases aren't so simple. Not a problem for me, I am a good, thoughtful, intelligent mayor.

Right when Tarsty pulled up to the crime scene the strangest thing happened. Stopping the car was the good stone statue. The same stone statue we were investigating. Tarsty was really, really, really not good at investigating. There it was not stolen after all. Happy Town has good stone statue back. 

I got out of the car to see if I tasted metal in the stone. I luckily knew that the good stone statue has metal flavour not stone flavour. I always visit the museum with Albert on Saturdays. It is hard to really get Albert excited about anything, however he really does somewhat like the museum. I think it is a stone taste in my mouth. 

"Tarsty, this is a replicate!" I loudly yelled so he could hear me over his talking. 

"Oh my heck! I am perplexed and shocked. We are going to find the original, that is a promise. Sometime in the night it was stolen then sometime in the morning this replicate was dropped in front of the museum." Tarsty recapped. Then he said more obvious things, however it is too boring to note right here. 

"You need to help your mayor yell incredibly loud to Albert to take his job seriously."

"Yes sir, happy to do it! I love happily helping my mayor."

Together we yelled so loud that my ears rang and my body shook from head to toe. Albert got the message. Albert finally showed up. 

"Hi Albert, it is nice of you to do you job." I said sarcastically. 

"What's the big deal I'm here aren't I." Albert rudely said. 

"Listen, museum is missing good stone statue."

"The stone statue is the best part of the museum. What dastardly thief would take it?" Albert sounded more worried that I heard before including the time I fell out of the car on the highway.

"Would you care to solve this case with me?" I asked because he was worried, however he doesn't get to refuse. He works for me.  

"Naturally to solve it you will need my help." Albert bragged. 

"What is the first step? We have learned that the good stone statue got replaced. Finding the original won't be easy. The road to this museum was put on the map so recently that it is probably too new to hide tracks. I suggest we look for fresh tracks." Tarsty went on and on for a long time. Too long. I gave patience a try. I'm tired of it already. I hardly think that Tarsty has good tracking skills so I will check out the road. It is time to put Albert to work. 

"Open the museum Albert, it has to have more clues. I think that is easy enough for you to do." I ordered.

In the road lay hard tracks. They are kind of thick, long and finally really moldy. I find that strange. We are going to need a tracking expert to investigate, thankfully I'm here. I looked closely to see if I could find anymore clues. It is so stinky, I puked a little. It is really gross, I'm glad Albert is really far right now. I really messed up the tracks. It has to be moldy stone statue bottom. The whole natural world stinks much less than rotten stone statue. It is time to look where these tracks go. Tarsty will just really annoy me so I'm going to search by myself. I am simply going to follow these tracks. 

The night is starting, making it darker each step I take. Fear not, in the road I found a lighter. It is really lucky because Happy Town doesn't have a lot of smokers like Angry Town. Tomorrow I should find out who is smoking so I can track down the thief. Soon the tracks end at a dead end. The most scary looking house is there. It is getting too cold out so I let my guard down and entered scary looking house. 

Man, I feel totally not scared in the least. This ghost house doesn't scare me. Looking around more is needed. It makes the time slow because it is so tedious. Police work is giving me a headache. Let the needed rest begin. There is a dark room, I'm going to check for a bed. I always go to bed after night falls so I don't get grumpy. It isn't pleasant when I get grumpy. I'm happy to say that the room has a nice bed in it. 

I'm thinking the room should have a light somewhere. I feel the wall and find a handle. I pulled the handle and suddenly the floor opened up. That's not good I thought as I fell. I'm going to fall on my face, that is bad. It is time to point my feet down like the time I was a gymnast. Expertly I landed in the underground. 

I look for a light switch again. There is a handle, bad idea. Fear not, I understand the underground. It is the same as the time I was a miner. So first things first, I'll explore. There is a passageway. Under Happy Town trails lead to Angry Town. This must be the way to the thief. Happy Town is going to make Angry Town pay. I feel really angry. I also haven't found a way out of this house. That makes me get even more angry. Seeing feelings like this, Happy Town would be shocked! I need to get myself under control fast. It is hard to do but I have to try. I love Happy Town, however I don't always understand the way they are never angry. 

The Angry Town trail is the only way out. I'm sorry to say I will have to go to Angry Town. I so hate Angry Town. The people are so mean and angry not like Happy Town at all. I get Happy Town can be annoying the way people are happy too much. The angry too much is even worse. Right now, time to get moving. 

The trail is the top annoying trail in the world. It has a tonne of rocks and roots to trip on. There are tiny insects biting me. The steep hills totally tire me out. The stone statue left stinky fumes. Sometimes I hate my job. 

I finally arrive in Angry Town. I'm still hot on the trail of the good stone statue. I go to lean on a wall for a rest. Then suddenly it opens up. That is the second time today , I think to myself as I fall. The statue is here laying on the bottom of this incredibly stinky hole. This is too terrible to my nose. Happy Town gets stinky sometimes but just with the smell of cookies. I like the smell of cookies. I feel the smell of the stone statue gets lost in the stink of Angry Town. I keep some wipes in my pocket so I'm going to use them to block the smell. I like the smell of wipes. 

I look around and Albert is standing in the corner. 

"Boo!" announces Albert. "I was lonely in here. Those are going to be the last words you hear as mayor. 

"Is that a threat Albert?" I'm totally shocked to see Albert here. "That's not going to happen. Those are the last words you are going to hear as driver of the mayor. No threats are going to stop me from stopping you. I need to know why you did this?"

"That's easy, I feel that I belong in Angry Town and so do you. It is the better town. So I lured you here. I stopped again for your call so you wouldn't suspect me. I'm really terrific at pretending."

"I'm arresting you. Back away from Mayor Fox! Warrant is being served. Right, Mayor Fox? Happy Town happily requests the return of our mayor and our statue. I happy to say good stone statue is in one piece. I look forward to the story of how I captured the thief with the best mayor in the world." It is mastering all my patience to listen to Tarsty save me. Tarsty found me so I need to let him talk. 

As the sorry mayor listened he realized that Tarsty really is a good policeman, really the better crime solver. Happy Town is lucky to have him. That is a strange feeling for the mayor to have, gratitude. The mayor wishes to always stay thankful for what he has. The darkest times are always going to pass. It is important to keep appreciation and love life. The mayor lived happily ever after.